I recently met a new friend. As we were getting to
know each other, I learned he was going through a very serious health
crisis. In fact, so serious that he was living on borrowed time - as far as
the doctors were concerned. More than 3 years ago, he was diagnosed with
a very aggressive form of brain cancer and given, “at most, 3 years to live!”
As I sat listening to my new friend, I began to imagine how different life
would be if given such a prognosis. What started out as a light-hearted,
get-to-know-you type conversation, turned acutely somber. I leaned
forward in my chair, blocked out all the distractions, and listened intently as
he explained his journey over the last 4+ years. It was an incredible
story of a courageous man depending on the Lord through unbelievable difficulties as a man, a husband, and a father!
One of the things he told me about really struck home!
He said that shortly after his diagnosis, he scheduled a day with each of his 3
children (ranging from college to young adult) and soberly asked them, “What do
you need from me over the next 3 years?” Can you imagine? I
remember thinking how incredibly courageous that was of him. What a holy
moment that must have been. It brought tears to my eyes, as I imagined
myself in that situation and all that would be wrapped up in it!
What a great example as a father, an example that each of us
can learn from without having to endure a life-threatening disease.
So, here is a question we need to ask ourselves as fathers:
What do my children need from me over the next 3 years?
To answer this question, we need to spend some time praying
about each of our children and thinking specifically about:
·
Where are they emotionally, spiritually, and
relationally?
·
What are they involved in; what they are
passionate about?
·
How has God wired them and what is their
gifting?
·
What transitions are they going to experience
over the next few years?
·
What do they need to learn from me as their
father?
·
How do I need to protect and care for them in
the coming years?
·
How can I intentionally build a stronger
relationship with them in the coming years?
This list could go on, but you get the idea.
For me, this is a very instructive and important process that helps me be intentional in
my important role as a father. This process has also helped strip away
things in life that are less important and keeps me focused on things that
really matter (Matt 6: 19-21).
By the way, dads, this process also works for your
relationship with your wife (1 Peter 3:7)! What does my wife need from me over
the next three years?
